The sorrows of life are endless…….

I am in a really bad mood today! No specific reason as such!

Just Thought that expressing might help a bit……… so here I go………

I am wondering, what are the causes of sorrow? Why do we feel bad sometimes? What is that keeps our minds preoccupied?

I did a bit of thinking and realized that we all have some events in life which we are unable to forget and/or forgive. These events of life result in causing FEAR, GUILT or REVENGE.

Fear never allows us to be in peace as we are continuously worrying about it. I know many people who after facing a certain incident in life, live in continuous fear.

This fear won’t let us enjoy the small happiness in life; we tend to associate whatever we do to that one feeling of fear.

Guilt is the feeling of unhappiness; we ought to experience it when we do something wrong and not get caught. This increases in magnitude when we actually start gaining from that wrong act of ours.

[Our conscious guides this feeling and though we may not accept it, but many a times we know we are wrong!]

This feeling can result from a small act of cheating, being dishonest, hurting someone………… the list is endless. But, we start repenting!

We want to revert back the wrong act, but can’t and live in persistent feeling of guilt which makes our life uneasy and miserable.

 Revenge, the most dangerous of them all! This emerges when we are on the receiving end and could not justify the other person’s behavior/ act / feeling. Thus crops anger, frustration and tension of not able to compensate to the act of the person or situations’ wrong doings. We end up being irritated and feel low and abused by the person or circumstances (whoever or whatever led to the cause).

Under any of the above three described causes of sorrow, we do behave normally, live a proper social life, but are at constant tussle deep within. No one but our own self knows about the friction developing in us.

Thus, whenever we feel low, irritated, uneasy ………. or any other such negativity in us, we should analyze the cause for the same.

Understand yourself! Find the reason for unhappiness and then,

Try to FORGET and/or FORGIVE!

Now I will do some introspection and try to find the reason for my bad mood………

Yesterday, I was talking about the movie, “Maya Memsaab”

Maya resides in every woman’s heart. She depicts the desires that a lady has, buried deep down within her. I don’t mean that every lady wants to have a long chain of lovers with whom she can sleep.

It is believed that you can never know or understand a lady. “Maya Memsaab” is the secret key to understand a lady. You watch this movie and the complexity of a women’s heart would be clear – crystal clear.

Let me explain: MAYA, the main protagonist of the movie is a woman and believe me only a woman. She is not a daughter, a wife, a mother, a friend…. nothing else but just a woman!

Maya’s father introduces her to the doctor as MAYA MEMSAAB, so true, Aren’t we treated as princess by our fathers, who ignores all our short comings and praises us even on the smallest achievements.  [Much to the envy of our brothers…]

MAYA knew her desires and wanted to fulfill the same and so she expected her husband, a common man, to understand her hidden desires. MAYA interprets her husband’s gestures in her own manner to believe that he only loved her. But, eventually, her husband was unable to prove his love (the way she wanted) and she was frustrated. She even plots a murder scene and expects her husband to react in a dramatic manner, but, the husband was only interested in calling the police, rather than killing himself for MAYA.

Sometimes we do lie to ourselves also, I hope many of my female friends would agree that, though we wanted love, care, support (the list is endless…….), but showed that we are strong enough and don’t need those. We always like to be pampered but many a times we don’t express the need or are busy enough to subside the feeling. Once in a while, we do want our lover/husband to do those stupid acts.

MAYA wanted to have a fairyland at her home, white curtains, long flowing bed-sheets ………

Don’t we want the same, but because of the practical problems (White gets dirty easily!) we ignore the desire. Here is the contrast, I said before MAYA was only a woman. She was not a daughter, a wife, a mother, a friend…. nothing else but just a woman!

Her list of lovers should not be treated as her having extra marital affair, it was just an extension of fulfilling her hidden desires. She had a clear idea about her desires.

Women do have a MAYA in them, but they have other responsibilities also, family & children, career, daily chores and so don’t get time to realize the need to be MAYA. Women are so busy with the routine life that they cannot even think of themselves.

So, MAYA was no different, though the portrayal was a bit extreme as the movie concentrated only on the woman’s side of a woman’s mind.

I hope not to have hurt sentiments through this post!

आज सोचा की, क्यो न हिन्दी में लिखा जाए. सच बड़ा मज़ा आ रहा है. अभी गाना चल रहा है, "तुझसे नाराज़ नहीं ज़िंदगी ..........." मन थोड़ा सा उदास हो गया है.
आरे वाहः, चलो गाना तो बदला!
हाँ, तो अब "माया मेमसाब" का टाइटल सॉंग सुन रहीं हूँ, जो मुझे बहुत पसंद है.
यह फिल्म बहुत ही अर्थपूर्ण है. मुझें लगता है की हर औरत में कहीं ना कहीं एक माया मेमसाहेब है!
मैं यह नहीं कह रही की हम सब अपना घर बार छोड़ कर सिर्फ प्यार के सपने देखतीं हैं..............
खैर, अब टाइप करना मुश्किल हो रहा है,
इस बारे मैं ज्यादा चर्चा नेक्स्ट ब्लॉग में करेंगे...................

So folks! here I am back to my original self and doing what I enjoy doing the most.

Today I want to share an incident which made me realize that I need to give more lessons to my kids.........

My kids were around 2 and 4 years old and we were on a visit to my mother's place. They were really exited and were having a great time over there. One day, a family came to visit my mummy in my absence.

While leaving the old lady gave Rs.10/- each to my kids. Daughter being the elder one, refused on the pretext that mummy will scold. But, on the insistance of my mother they reluctantly took the money and kept it aside.

When I returned, mummy told me about the incident and my daughter ended the topic showing me the crisp Rs.10 notes saying, "Mummy, ek aunty aayin thi. Unhone hamein yeh CHUTTE PAISE diyen hain"

[Mummy, one aunty came, she gave us this CHANGE Money]

I was shocked, Rs.10 is CHUTTE PAISE (change)

I immediately realised my kids need a lesson or two on money matters. They think that the ATM machine will give money whenever they need and there are malls and super markets from where you can buy whatever you want by putting it in your basket.

Being a trainer, I wanted to solve the problem not by giving them a lecture but by devising a practical approach to the problem.

On coming back from Mummy's place, one day when we had to go to the mall, I asked them to make a list of things that they really want. They gave me the names and I jotted them down. We bought only those things that was in the list.

Also I showed them the printed statement that we get on each transaction at ATM. I showed them the balance and how it reduces as we withdraw more money.

Slowly I explained them that only after papa and mummy work hard for one whole month, that we get money in the banks which we take out through ATMs.

This whole exercise took almost two years, but I am sure that the attitude of my kids have definetely changed for better and they are more responsible.

Now they are more alert. They neither waste or lose their stationary nor spoil their books. Also they no longer leave food in the plates.

They have their own piggy banks and they save and cut expenses on luxeries when a birthday or festival approaches.

They still enjoy the parties and dinners as well as toys and shopping but they don't take these for granted. They both are more responsible now.

I am feeling really proud!

Why do we need to wear a mask all the time?

Can’t we just be our real self?

Why are we so afraid of ourselves?

Is pretension the only means to survive?

Each one of us changes the mask more than once in a day?

Is it not true?

Sometimes even we are not honest to our own self?

I love the way I am, I want to scream, but no I cannot….

I read a post of fellow ilander, 'the daddy tiger' which gave me idea for the following post....

We were newly married that time. I asked my husband to take me out in the evening. He agreed (remember, we were NEWLY married).

So, we went to the nearby market. The weather good, and we were on bike. There is one flower  shop on the way. I love the aroma around the shop.

While approaching the flower shop, I said, " Lovely flowers! Isn't it?" [Thinking that he would definately get some for me]

But, he said, "Yes!" and kept driving.

I was really hurt and this incident happened a couple of times again.

Today after eight years of marriage, I wanted to know the reason for such behaviour. His answer was simple.

He said," Arre!, you wanted the flowers? you could have told me or else bought it yourself!!!!!

Look! What a fool I am!

Comments awaited......................

Yesterday an incident happened, which left me wondering. I want to share it with my ilander friends.

Hopefully, they might give a new dimension to my perception of the situation.

So, here it goes………..

His phone was switched off. I tried the whole day but response was the same. At last, I dialed his friend’s number and left the message for him. He called me in the evening. After the regular “Haal-chaal”, he told me the reason for his mobile phone being switched off.

According to him, there is some “Shani ka Chakkar” with his chargers. He traced the events since last one year. His laptop charger was lost. He got another one, which broke down; he repaired it using M-seal but it lasted only for some days. He got another charger. Same story goes for his mobile chargers. Either they get lost, or he forgets it somewhere, or they stop working.

Now he believes that there is some astrological problem between him and his chargers. He wants to consult some astrologer regarding the same.

Let me introduce him, he is an engineer, an IT professional, working in big multinational since last two years. He specializes in SAP technology and has worked on many projects nationally as well as internationally.

This indicates that, the younger and so called modern generation thinks this way, believing in stupid superstitions and connecting the general incidences of life in a weird manner.

I hope I am wrong!

Lets understand the difference between good and bad!

How is it that, the same thing is good for one and bad for the other.

Actually this idea struck me after watching the ads of "Daag Acche hain!"

The girl splashing curry all over the shirt to stop the hiccupps is actually very sweet and cute.

But, the question remains unanswered, will the bad action becomes good if it is done on good intention?

Is the perception of the current younger generation that, 'intention matters the most, the actions are irrerevent', correct?

I leave it on my ilander friends to answer .......

Pragnya was a happy woman with no big problems in her life. With a good husband, two lovely kids, and a job as a lecturer, she very well qualified as the blessed lucky few in the society.  

It was one of the regular evenings in Pragnya’s life. After the dinner, kids wanted to go out for ice-cream.

As it was already getting late, she didn’t change and came out to be a part of this “halla-gulla”. Her kids started the discussion about the different flavors that they would eat and she also joined them in the discussion. Her husband took out the car, and they got into it. As usual, the kids got into the car and Pradnya closed the door.

And, lo…… her son’s finger came in between. He cried, and she was numb for a moment. But, immediately opened the door, and rushed him inside the house.

Thankfully, it was not a major injury and he was better with application of ice.

But, her husband was irritated and angry. He held Pragnya responsible for the incident and abused her verbally throughout, till their son stopped crying.

Then, they went ahead with ice-cream plan.

Life goes on! Isn’t it?

But, Was Pradnya really responsible for the incident? Was it right for her husband to blame her?